Can you Believe it??

Page 1

The following items are not really meaningful, but just fun. I received these over the internet, and do not know the authors. Read on, they might give you a chuckle.

Letter From Home

Dear Son:

Your Paw has a job. It's the first one he had in forty-eight years since we have been married. We are a little better off now, because we have so much money now we don't know what to do with it. Paw gets $17.15 every Thursday, so we thought we ought to do something about fixing up the house. We sent to Sears & Roebuck for one of those bathrooms you hear people having in houses. It took a plumber to put it in shape. On one side of the bathroom is a great long thing something like a pig trough, only you get in it and wash all over. Over on the other side is a little white thing they call a sink where you wash your face and hands. But over in the corner we really got something. This thing, you put one foot in, wash it clean, then you pull the chain & get fresh water for the other foot. Two lids come with the thing. We got no use for them in the bathroom so I'm using one for the bread board. The other lid has a hole in it so we use it for a frame for grandfather's picture. Sears & Roebuck are real nice people to deal with. They sent us a roll of paper with the outfit. We can't write on it very well, so I'm using it to wrap Paw's lunch. Take care of yourself.

Maw

ACTUAL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:

ON A HAIRDRYER:

*Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:

*You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:

*Directions: Use like regular soap.

FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION:

*Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:

*Fits one head.

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT:

*Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:

*Product will be hot after heating.

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:

*Do not Iron clothes on body.

ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE:

*Do not drive car or operate machinery.

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):

*Warning: May cause drowsiness.

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:

*Warning: Keep out of children.

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:

*For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:

*Not to be used for the other use.

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:

*Warning: contains nuts

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:

*Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:

*Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

ON A CAR SUN SHADE:

*Do not operate car while shade is in place.

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